Random

 The two sides of me

Is it possible?

For my readers

Hey to all of ya'll who read this,
First off, thanks ya'll! I appreciate it that you take time out of your life to look at the drama, the highs and lows of this thing called Lesi's World! Love you guys! Ok, so I kind of want some feedback on what things you like and dislike about this blog so I can make it better. You know, hopefully get some more feedback on things I post cause um.....I get NO comments! So just type a comment 2 me and I'll read and revise the blog according to that.
Love and peace,
Lesi

Hmmmm..............

When did I become afraid to be me? Afraid to randomly walk up to a stranger and introduce myself? When did I let shyness overcome my natural Lesi-ness? When did I stop being ME and become what people EXPECTED?

Declarations

I will never understand why you treat me the way you do and I talk it to prove undying loyalty to you when all you do is use me. My friends are right you're a douche and for real, I gotta leave u alone cuz if I don't, this won't ever get resolved.

Team no cuffn and more

randoms

My Black isBeautiful

I don't claim to have all the answers about certain things but one thing I do know is that Black is beautiful. We have the most diversity among an ethnic group than anyone else & we also are one of our biggest critics. Gone are the days when we were told that we were brought up to have respect for ourselves & the Black community b/c as soon as one messed up, we all messed up. We as a people don't respect each other & our choices in life. Sure I don't like drug dealers but at the same time, I'm not gone judge somebody for doing what they perceive needs to be done for their family.
With natural hair reemerging as an actual choice for some, it's time that we stop fronting & telling our women that you only look good with a perm, weave or wig. When a man has to go through all the pain that a woman has to go through simply to conform to society's ideals of a woman, then we can talk. Until then I'm good doing me & being single. I don't want anybody to not know that my black is beautiful. 

For you

You only want the ones you play games with you. I don't have time.

Deeper than you know

I was reading my formspring this morning and I realized that I'm actually growing up. Half of the questions usually would've gotten an "I wanna beat your ass. What's your name so I can do it?" but I didn't. I actually tried to be nice which is strange for me. This actually shows that I'm growing even though Sunday night showed that I still have some way to go.
Sunday night, the ex came back into my life w/ the same old bullshit about how horrible I am. I don't have time for it anymore. He's a past mistake and I've grown from it. But I digress.
It's time for me to step my game up. Seriously, I think I need to start back writing my poetry b/c it keeps my focus. I'm out tho!
Dueces

Sweetest thing

I've been on a Lauryn Hill kicc lately...her music is too durn deep for anything but long sessions of her with mad songs on repeat.
Anyway, all I can think about lately is my past. The past that used to cause such pain. When did it stop hurting? It stopped when I stopped worrying about everything in my past. I'm not that person anymore. Point blank, I'm a new person who actually enjoys life and doesn't worry about anything but doing me. Maybe that's what I was supposed to learn this semester: how to let go.

Taking a break

With all the drama that has surrounded me for the past few weeks when it comes to guys, I need a break. I'm boy crazy as hell but when it comes to it, I gotta get my focus right. So I've taken a sabbatical from boys. Maybe I'll figure out what I want from a guy.
In other news, I gotta start eating better and exercising because I gained like 5 pounds in a few weeks. Having a big butt ain't worth having a gut!
Ci

Why can't we be?

Why can't we be more than friends
Cause boy you know I've got ya back til the end
Of time and that I won't hurt you.
Why can't we be more than anything you've had before
Just because all ya other girls don't know how to treat you
Why can't we be all that we're meant to be?
One of these days you'll wake up and see that
The question of why can't we be was answered
But you never knew it

Who am I?

So watching the Best Man and it has been thinking: when it's all said and done, who am I? To most people I'm just that weird girl who no one is quite sure how to take but to my true friends, how can you define me? I can give everyone the basics but who can read between the lines?
Honestly, I have very few friends and way too many associates. My friends love me flaws and all and enjoy my company (even though they might shouldn't) and my associates are the ones quicc to turn away. SMH. But here are the basics for everyone:
Name: Candace Alesia
Birthdate: Jan. 15, 1991
Hometown: You've never heard of it, 252, NC
Sexual orientation: Straight (for everyone who loves to say I'm gay or w/e, I'm straight as hell)
Relationship status: Single
That's all that most people know and that's all they need to know. But it seems like lately, more people actually think they can say what they want about me. Formspring isn't gonna protect you and just by not putting your name, it shows how scared you are. SMH. Sometimes I think the question isn't who am I but who are YOU to be in my business when you don't know me?
Ci

Hmmm

So after the drama this week, I've def stopped hanging w/ so many females and I'm quite happy to just be me. In other news, MY HAIR IS GROWING! :-D. Longer post tonight cuz I gotta gulp down this yogurt and run to practice!

Happy Easter!

So I'm on a break from school work (ugh!) so I decided to just do a quicc update. First off, happy Easter to everybody! It's a strange idea to celebrate the death of someone but the real idea behind it is awesome!
In other news.....I'm in a world of mess! Personal life is in such disarray. I can't wait until this mess is over! School is a hot ghetto mess too. This damn stats class is killer. Trying to find a job is mess and just life in general is crazy. This world is a mess. Why are people od'n because people are being creative and expressing their inner selves? Ugh!
I'm randomly ranting b/c I can't really say what I wanna say: I think I'm falling in love and it's scary. He's managed to get pass my walls and show me that people aren't always so bad. I'm so damn scared but I'm working on me. I can't wait til this is clear.

Drama

I'm over the drama. I hate it. It's wacc and high school. I don't have time for the he said/ she said bullshit b/c it leads to more drama. College has lead to a whole new level of drama. High school was just a precursor to college when it's a bigger place to start drama and have bigger rumors. It's too much and "it hurts me soul" (Lupe Fiasco). That being said, it's over.
Next item, the Kid aka KP. He's the most different guy I've ever met. He challenges me to do better b/c I wanna be the girl he wants to date. I don't even like relationships like that but with him, it's different. Babezz (aka the ex) def is trying to come bacc into my life and he's cool but there's too much history.But I digress.
My hair is def growing tho. It's so cute! Loving my lil styles. Pics are def on the next step (gotta figure out how to do it tho!) I'm going to start my dreads next year tho. Hoping I get this license and a car. :-D. Life is good tho

So...whoa

Spring break definitely wasn't what I thought it could be but I'll live with it. No use in complaining! Newayz, prolly gonna go bk and write down my hair routine so I can figure out this growth thing. Just a quicc update for myself! lol

Wow

So this past week has been filled with drama. Like really, I thought we were to the age where telling an adult about our problems didn't happen anymore but it's still going on. There are people who are mad b/c most of the Black girls on our hall are hanging out and have inside jokes so they try to make a big deal out of nothing. Yes, we shouldn't have responded the way we have but they pushed to far calling us ugly. So ugh! So tired of dealing with stupidness! At least I've been having good hair days.
Ci

Umk

So I'm really feeling kinda sad right now. I sort of want a relationship but at the same time, I'm not ready for the drama and pain that can come from relationships. I am tired of guys tryna play with my emotions so right now, I'm making a vow that if I'm talking to or chilling with a guy, he can't be playing games. I don't have time.