Welcome to the world as I see it. This blog is all about life as I view it, poetry & random ish.

Monday, May 31, 2010

For you

You only want the ones you play games with you. I don't have time.

Friday, May 28, 2010


Maybe it's me but music used to speak to you. It made you laugh, cry, think about memories, etc. You couldn't turn on the radio without some song reminding you of something. What happened to those songs and those? Now we get lame things on the radio simply because the majority of people listen to that. Don't get me wrong, I like Lil Wayne and them sometimes but I'm wondering why artists like Lupe don't get recognized and the only thing you hear from Kid Cudi is the things that mention drugs. Don't get me wrong because he does talk a lot about drugs and drinking but he also talks about things like feeling alone because nobody gets you or appreciates you and just about being young. Lupe isn't the usual commercial artist because HE'S BETTER!
Am I the only one who misses the old hip hop, rap and r&b like Aaliyah, Tupac, Ginuwine, etc? Am I the only one who can't really form memories to lyrics about banging hoes, baby mamas etc?
On that same note, music has evolved into a legacy of cheating, abuse and hatred. First and foremost, if you're so scared of the Illuminati then a) don't listen to the music or b) have faith in something that nulls the Illuminati. Secondly, I love Alicia Keys & her music but her choices lately have me rethinking letting my niece listen to her. Are we promoting having sex with a married man? Isn't this the society that is so "high and mighty"? Lastly, why is it that songs or videos that don't have anything to do with sex, drugs, drinking or Lil Wayne don't get any airtime? SMH.
I just miss the old days of the media not making me choose if I want to know anything about someone's personal life and music being relevant to me.



Why does it seem like all guys want is a ho? I mean, I've never gotten it: you're hitting it, ya boy hitting it, his girl's hit it, etc but yet, ya'll still fucking her. WHY?! Is it because she's easy or because you don't like to work hard? I just can't imagine being a ho at such a young age.
On that note, I'm gonna have to ask that people on formspring not call me a ho nor call any of my friends a ho b/c it's not cool. Just because we have lives but people who don't spread rumors, you don't have to call us a ho.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I miss u

Sooooo I'm missing him right now. I have never and I can say this honestly missed a guy like this. SMH. Gotta break his hold on me.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Proud to be a problem

This mixtape is actually kinda hot. I'm def falling in love with it. LOL I guess I'm proud to be a prbolem.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Deeper than you know

I was reading my formspring this morning and I realized that I'm actually growing up. Half of the questions usually would've gotten an "I wanna beat your ass. What's your name so I can do it?" but I didn't. I actually tried to be nice which is strange for me. This actually shows that I'm growing even though Sunday night showed that I still have some way to go.
Sunday night, the ex came back into my life w/ the same old bullshit about how horrible I am. I don't have time for it anymore. He's a past mistake and I've grown from it. But I digress.
It's time for me to step my game up. Seriously, I think I need to start back writing my poetry b/c it keeps my focus. I'm out tho!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sweetest thing

I've been on a Lauryn Hill kicc lately...her music is too durn deep for anything but long sessions of her with mad songs on repeat.
Anyway, all I can think about lately is my past. The past that used to cause such pain. When did it stop hurting? It stopped when I stopped worrying about everything in my past. I'm not that person anymore. Point blank, I'm a new person who actually enjoys life and doesn't worry about anything but doing me. Maybe that's what I was supposed to learn this semester: how to let go.


Nothing Even Matters - Lauryn Hill & D'Angelo

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Cantu: a review

So I bought this lovely little bottle of lameness b/c I had to flat iron my hair for band......I HATE THIS PRODUCT! It left my hair dirty and sticky and my flat iron extra dirty. I'm never buying this product again!
Maybe it'll work for somebody out there but it def didn't work for me.

And it ends.....

Today is my last full day as a college freshman. It's been pretty interesting and I've done things I never thought I would or could do. As I continue to grow, I think that college is the best thing that's ever happened for me. Thanks to everyone who helped me through this year and for the prayers that have gotten me through it all.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Taking a break

With all the drama that has surrounded me for the past few weeks when it comes to guys, I need a break. I'm boy crazy as hell but when it comes to it, I gotta get my focus right. So I've taken a sabbatical from boys. Maybe I'll figure out what I want from a guy.
In other news, I gotta start eating better and exercising because I gained like 5 pounds in a few weeks. Having a big butt ain't worth having a gut!

India.Arie - Video

India.Arie - Ready For Love


Ok so a few weeks ago, I go to the club and meet this dude. I text him b/c I was bored and we started chilling. First questions I always ask: are you straight, do you have a girl, do you have kids, crazy exes, facebook, etc just in case. This dude lies and says he's straight, single and off the grid. Strike one. Then I start to think, he lying. My homegirl tells me, he's lying.
So today, I'm getting dms from this guy and I look him up on Facebook. Low and behold: I find Mr. Julian on Facebook! The reason he couldn't text: he has a girl. The reason he stopped trying to talk to me: he knew I wasn't dumb. Moral of the story: don't lie! Facebook will tell all!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

My first love

So a trending topic on Twitter got me thinking about my first kiss. That was such a long time ago! LOL I def remember him though b/c we saw each other a while ago at a basketball game. He didn't remember me though :-(.
While I was thinking about my first kiss, the thoughts crept into my head of my first love. Yeah, I'm 19 and most people are thinking that I don't know what love is. But for me, I knew. He was my boyfriend of like 2 or 3 years and I had the HUGEST crush on him in 9th grade. We became friends and eventually started dating. It was one of the best times in my life. We argued so much but at the end of the day, I knew that without a doubt, I loved him. Circumstances happened and we broke up and we aren't as good friends as I would like. I miss the way we used to just talk about everything.
But the point is: never forget your first anything. In a lot of ways, I wish I could go back and change how things were but I understand I needed to grow. Embrace your mistakes and love em!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Um def don't have time for drama! I don't like nor need it but when I say things are gonna happen and they happen, I don't take joy in it. Instead, I grow and leave it be.
In other news, I'm kinda happy right now. I know how I feel bout the newly niccnamed Huey (aka KP). I like the feelings I have but who knows? Def gonna have to do a recap of my weekend tho!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Freshman year: the hair

Why can't we be?

Why can't we be more than friends
Cause boy you know I've got ya back til the end
Of time and that I won't hurt you.
Why can't we be more than anything you've had before
Just because all ya other girls don't know how to treat you
Why can't we be all that we're meant to be?
One of these days you'll wake up and see that
The question of why can't we be was answered
But you never knew it

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Don't take me for granted

People are starting to take me for granted. Not a good mood. When you needed me, I was there. You could at least do the same.