Welcome to the world as I see it. This blog is all about life as I view it, poetry & random ish.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Who am I?

So watching the Best Man and it has been thinking: when it's all said and done, who am I? To most people I'm just that weird girl who no one is quite sure how to take but to my true friends, how can you define me? I can give everyone the basics but who can read between the lines?
Honestly, I have very few friends and way too many associates. My friends love me flaws and all and enjoy my company (even though they might shouldn't) and my associates are the ones quicc to turn away. SMH. But here are the basics for everyone:
Name: Candace Alesia
Birthdate: Jan. 15, 1991
Hometown: You've never heard of it, 252, NC
Sexual orientation: Straight (for everyone who loves to say I'm gay or w/e, I'm straight as hell)
Relationship status: Single
That's all that most people know and that's all they need to know. But it seems like lately, more people actually think they can say what they want about me. Formspring isn't gonna protect you and just by not putting your name, it shows how scared you are. SMH. Sometimes I think the question isn't who am I but who are YOU to be in my business when you don't know me?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Why I hate school

So, trying to be productive, I studied stats from my stats quiz and planned to do laundry. Problem? The rejects at the Housing and Residence Life forgot to send out an email that the part of blackboard that controls the laundry was off. After this lady gives me the runaround, I call the Technology place where Ryan helped me out. I'm still pissed though. Isn't it your job to help out someone who plainly needs help with a situation and not cop an attitude? Best believe, I'm gonna call the head lady. SMH. People these days.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

This is college....right?

If we are, can you stop being anonymous on formspring and leave your name? I mean, if you're gonna hate, can I at least know who and why you're hating? And just FYI, I have a hunch who it is & if I'm right, you just did something you didn't want to do! :-D

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Then and now

Maybe it's just me but

Ok, so KP and I are.....weird. Like one day, he texts me all day and the next....freeze out! I'm trying to not let it get to me and it's working especially b/c of Potential . We're pretty cool but we haven't known each other for too long so the other shoe's gonna drop soon.
I digress tho. Mad work to do this week and I'm going to get it done. So if I don't post for a while, it's because I have homework, practice and boocaking to do! lol.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Goodbye KP

So for the past few months, I've been talking to this dude that had the niccname KP. I tried to do everything to make sure that I didn't annoy him and that he knew that I really liked him. I even would helped him if he was sicc and I hate being around sicc people. But I keep feeling like I care about him and he.....he could give two fuqs about me. So in accordance w/ the no dead weight policy, it's time to say goodbye KP. Interesting times but I can't keep doing this.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


So after the drama this week, I've def stopped hanging w/ so many females and I'm quite happy to just be me. In other news, MY HAIR IS GROWING! :-D. Longer post tonight cuz I gotta gulp down this yogurt and run to practice!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Group think

So, Erykah Badu's "Window Seat" has me thinking: why are we a part of the group think experience? Even when we say we're not, we are. Case in point, if one person has a problem with another person in the group, the group will turn on the other person. It's sad but that's how people are. I encourage you to think for yourself and enjoy YOUR life from YOUR perspective not from anybody elses'. Life is too short to just be doing what everyone else is doing simply b/c u lacc the baccbone to speak up for yourself. Also, if you're in college, don't do high school shit. It's not cute. It's childish and makes u look like ur a hot ghetto mess. Sorry just stating facts. But my main point is this: make up your mind about a person and don't let others color your opinion. Also, if you have an issue, come straight to the person.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Who knew?

You ever just feel like giving up? Yeah this week has been hell and to top it off my boo thing is acting weird. Side boo is acting like I'm so easily replaced. Is my life so complicated? Why is it that I can't really be happy? There's too many things going on and no one to really talk to. I'm just tired of everything really.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

& this is when we all grow up!

Ok so today was a total good day: no drama, fights or anything until about 5 o'clock when I proceed to get fussed out by my lil cousin. Um....-_- did anybody tell this lil girl that I'll catch a case if it means beating her down?! Don't lie on me one and don't proceed to step to me like you my age b/c I will beat you like you my age and dare you to do something about it. One thing about me, anger + me= bad as hell. So I text my ex who's part of this problem and tell him that we should only communicate when it's necessary.
He flips the fuq out! This nigga actually calls me a bad friend! Hold up, here's the posts:

for quite a while now...i've been doing nothin but being a good friend for and to you....i've been there for you almost every time you've needed me and now you are gonna treat me like this...like i do you so wrong or whatever...or because i start to much crap with you...? cool alesia ...i really could care less because this isn't the first time you've kicked me out your life...but this is all i have left to say to you... i hope whatever promblems you have get worse and i hope everything that is going righht in your life ends up going more wrong then the worst...you suck...you are not a good friend...and whatever you think bad about me i really could care less...you suck...you will end up sad and alone...and everyone you think cares about you will fuck you over...bye
yea bullshit...fuck all that...i never needed you and i don't need you...i just enjoyed your company but whateva...i could really care less...don't need you or anyone else who is really all about themselves so bye

I was upset, no lie. I actually had fallen in love with this boy and wanted to be with him. I was with him through some difficult times. Then I started thinking. This is the same dude that fuqed me over in the first place! He talks shit bout his girl but won't leave her alone and keeps giving me excuses about shit. I don't give two flying fuqs anymore about him or my damn lil cousin. I'm 19 years old. I'm in like with these amazing guys and I'm working hard to do my best. What kind of person wishes bad on someone simply b/c they were trying to be a nice friend and avoid drama? GROW THE FUQ UP! Ugh! This is why in my world, bitch ass people like this would disappear. SMH. When will we learn that by saying things to hurt others, we hurt ourselves?

Happy Easter!

So I'm on a break from school work (ugh!) so I decided to just do a quicc update. First off, happy Easter to everybody! It's a strange idea to celebrate the death of someone but the real idea behind it is awesome!
In other news.....I'm in a world of mess! Personal life is in such disarray. I can't wait until this mess is over! School is a hot ghetto mess too. This damn stats class is killer. Trying to find a job is mess and just life in general is crazy. This world is a mess. Why are people od'n because people are being creative and expressing their inner selves? Ugh!
I'm randomly ranting b/c I can't really say what I wanna say: I think I'm falling in love and it's scary. He's managed to get pass my walls and show me that people aren't always so bad. I'm so damn scared but I'm working on me. I can't wait til this is clear.