Welcome to the world as I see it. This blog is all about life as I view it, poetry & random ish.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Straight hair + humidity= poofy!

Well I learned my lesson!
I straightened my hair to give it a break from twists and constantly styling but I forgot that this is North Carolina with winter/fall humidity so needless to say, my hair is big, poofy and frizzy! But I love it because it's mine. Even though I've caught some, "That can't be her hair! She got a bad weave!" I don't like weave b/c it itches. Try again haters! But at least I can say this:

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Bananas, heat & water! Oh my!

I did it. I decided to mix some ingredients and see the results. So I had some bananas lying around and conditioner and  voila, bananas are beautiful! My hair was b-e-autiful! But I wasn't done.
I decided my hair needed a break from twists all the time & w/o any other ideas....
I flat ironed it. I feel in love with my length but I hate my hair straight. After next Sunday, I def have NO plans to flat iron it for a loooonnnnnnggggg time!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I'm really debating straightening my hair...I want to but I don't know if I wanna wait *sigh*

Monday, October 11, 2010


So this is about to become less about me as a person and focus more on my hair and poetry. My life and it's craziness is gonna be on http://lesisworld.tumblr.com/. Keep it going though!!

He is

I don't know how to say it.
He's something I never expected to have. I mean, I've done WAY bad things but he somehow makes me feel like I deserve to be happy again. I haven't felt that way in a long ass time.
I like the way he kisses me and holds me.
It's weird b/c any other guy woulda been turned off by the fact I still have my v-card but he........he's something different. No pressure just hugs that are awesome and kisses that make me smile. I love how he can do something that makes me smile. Like kiss me when I'm sad or hold me when I've had an off day. Texts from him always make me smile.
I'm scared.
It's my usual fear of someone I like walking away but it's also the fact that he's a great guy. I don't wanna hurt him or have him decide he can't deal with the complicatedness that is me. I'm not perfect but can he stand it. I'm hoping he can b/c if he does, I may be with him for a while.
So there's this guy, who I totally like who likes me back. I hope it works because if it does....that'd be perfect.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ah hair update

This is my hair yesterday. I am almost a year natural and I'm waiting for it to fall and not be a fro anymore. :D

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Well excuse me.
I thought I was done talking to and about my ex aka THE ex but apparently not. For everybody who doesn't know, the ex and I have been through hell and back. He was there when my nieces were born, he was there when I remembered by childhood and he was there for every moment that could possibly happen in the life of a young lady. But somehow, we became emotionally abusive to each other and yes, once even physically abusive (I hit him btw). Eventually we parted was but not before he managed to emotionally and possibly physically cheat on me with my 5 year younger cousin. He's two years older than I am. I digress though. This summer, it looked like always + forever were about to get back together and it was gonna be fun times. Sadly it wasn't. This time it got verbally abusive and we stopped before it reached the point of us being together.
He texted me today.
He's leaving for basic I guess and he just wanted to clarify somethings. He said bye and told me he took my pics w/ him. I don't know why though. We weren't talking. I mean deleted off Facebook, Twitter, Skype, etc. No contact then this? I'm confused. I mean it's crazy.
I still love him.
It's that first love shit. He was my everything for such a long time that....I don't know. I just can't talk to him b/c he's just so wrong for me. I want more for myself than to be his wifey or whatever. I mean, engagements are one thing. Weddings are another. It's like I think too much about this and I start remembering the good times. Those times are gone and aren't coming back. I can't afford to backtrack.
I'm done

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Understand Me

If you took the time and looked deeper,
Maybe you could understand me.
No, not the one everyone else sees
But who I really am.
Past the wildness
The IDGAF attitude,
the public persona
If you just understood that I've been hurt one too many times
And can't trust.
The crazy female that loves dancing and enjoys the sweet
Random things even if they're girly as hell like dancing in the rain
The real me
Candace-the smart one who never backs down even when I should.
Alesia'- the random one who'll break out in song and dance at the drop of a hat.
Cici-shy but wild. Wishing for a better life and striving for it.
Almond Joy-Sensation to the max.
Lesi-great friend and listener.
All of these are me.
I am the girl who makes mistakes but learns from em.
If you took the time to look,
Past all the hype and see me, you'd see someone real and beautiful
Unfortunately, you don't understand

Monday, October 4, 2010

Short and sweet 2

I hope it lasts b/c I really want it to this time.

Sometimes you just gotta vent

I don't do this often enough I guess which is probably why I have so many damn issues. Quite honestly, if I were to talk about my emotions, it'd freak people out b/c most forget I even have the damn things. But here we go (disclaimer: if you really don't wanna know, don't read the rest of this)
Respecting me will get you further. Yes I call you out ya name but I do it playfully and I stop when you ask me to. Talking shit will get ya ass kicked and make me mess up my nails which I don't wanna do. Respecting me also means letting me do me and enjoy my life rather than pass judgments when you don't know what's really going on. This also means that if we were ever really cool, you could come to me bout shit and let it lie. Rather than do that, you wanna talk shit and say you're too grown to talk shit. It's ok. Not worried about it anymore. Honestly, half the shit you people do bothers me and that's why I don't associate with you anymore.
Don't try to play me because I'm not stupid. I know how the game works and I can play it better than you.
Happiness in my life doesn't come around often enough that I'll let people fuck it up. Remember that.
If I call you a friend & treat you like one, act like one and don't get mad when I tell you how I feel. There's a reason I rarely tell people how I feel and it's because they don't know how to take it. Honestly, I just wish people could see themselves through my eyes. It'd save me a lot of trouble.
And I know I'm not perfect but I try to be a good person when most people aren't so if I'm making the effort, why can't ya'll?