Welcome to the world as I see it. This blog is all about life as I view it, poetry & random ish.

Thursday, January 27, 2011


I've been running around a freaking week doing stuff for various clubs and homework and of course my late night oovoo chats (which I'm not going to talk about for a while yet.) Bday weekend was fun even though one of my friends is mad b/c she thinks we left her out intentionally when we really didn't. :( But I'll leave it in God's hands along w/ my little sis who is missing again. *sigh* I love ya'll I do but it's stressful as hell when everything seems to go wrong at once! But I'm letting it go & praying on it.
Job hunt is back on so I can get off this campus.
My hair is growing! Right now it's in mini twists & has been for like a week. Next week will be the take down. I'm thinking I'm going to flat iron it or something for about 2 to 4 weeks to give it a break from twists and prevent damage. Pics to follow later.
Ok so this update thing didn't really work but I'll do a video one later when I actually have time & I'm not about to starve!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Rules for respect pt 1

So as I recap the bday weekend, I've realized a few things.
Dudes who want p u  s s y will NOT hit you up on your birthday if they aren't around you because they sense it's pointelss.
Case 1, dude who was supposed to be my birthday date, got stuck home and in the end, didn't even text me to say happy birthday. But if he had gotten down here, he would've def been like, "Happy birthday boo!"
Case 2, a dude who likes me but who I find like intensely revolting, hit me up asking me to stay the night after I made a tweet about my hormones being fucked up. Like dude, I don't wanna be around you. Your voice annoys me and your face? Makes me wanna drink to see if you look better. I know that's mean but it's true.
But in both of these cases, I've put myself out there like that. I mean, I told old dude to be my bday date so I guess he thought it was gonna pop off and I stayed w/ dude in case 2 b/c I was bored. If I want a dude to respect me, I gotta let em know from the get go, it ain't like that. I thought I did but I guess I hadn't. But here's a few rules about respecting a female.
1. Don't treat her like an offbrand bitch that you only wanna fuck. If you like her, treat her with respect.
2. If she says she wants to take it slow, do not play w/ her while she sleep. She will punch you in her "sleep".
3. Any calls to stay after 11 pm are for booty calls. We are not stupid. We know this.
4. Think about this: treat a female like you'd want your mom, sister, niece, fav cousin, etc treated b/c if you don't, KARMA!
5. Be honest
6. If you're honest w/ a female and it doesn't work out, 99% of the time, y'all will be the best of friends b/c she'll appreciate you.
That's it for now. & yes, I'll be updating it soon.

The bday weekend

So my birthday weekend (Friday @ 4 pm until now) was fun as hell. I just wish my sister Ashley was somewhere that we could pinpoint her ass, my sister Kiyda had made it and my bestie had made it. Otherwise, it was perfect (& I didn't get much of anything for my bday).
I love having friends who are there for me through whatever. It makes me feel so blessed b/c I actually know I matter. I'm gonna try to make my 20s as nice as they possibly can b/c the past 5 years have been crazy as hell and I just need to let it go and rest.
My wisdom teeth hurt like hell and pics shall be posted later!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

It's my bday!

Today is my 20th bday! Wow! Time has flown! & while I'm not quite where I wanna be in life, I'm getting there. Shoutout to all my friends and fam that have supported me up to this day and will continue to do so!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wifey Type

My view on relationships.
Ok, first things first: if we're talking, we're basically together so why go talking to other females? Yeah, you knew I wasn't enough. If you have an issue w/ how I am, then tell me. Don't "take time" & it only end w/ u talking to someone else b/c you knew you were doing that the whole time. If you just wanna be friends, just be friends and don't let it go any further.
If you're in a relationship, there's no need to advertise your relationship on social networks b/c that'll wreck it. I mean saying wifey and hubby every two weeks to a new dude or girl is lame and annoying. Plus it makes you look like a ho or a dumbass.
In short, a relationship is between two people or if you take it global, use nicknames b/c otherwise, it'll just blow up.
Also, the wifey type. A wifey is that chick that'll go to hell and back for you no matter what. She is your ride or die & supports you when everyone else, walks out on you. She loves you for you no matter what has happened, will happen and may happen and she prays you up to receive your blessings b/c she knows when you're blessed, she's blessed & while ya'll may not stay together forever, she'll still love you.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Left in the dust

He said he loved me
But at the first sign of a true test,
he ran so fast, the words
skid marks couldn't describe how he left my heart.
And now?
Now, it's supposed to be all ok because aye,
I'm supposed to forgive and forget and move on.
Now hold up!
When did he get me now confused with me then?
Cuz the ride or die chick he left stuck on stupid,
uh, she don't live here anymore
He's just one more in the dust.
He said he needed me.
Life without me wasn't complete and that the wifey type was what he needed.
Nah, bruh, what you needed was someone to care of you and that...ain't me.
Who am I to tell you wtf to do with your life?
I haven't figured my damn self out so how am I supposed to know you?
Put down ya excuses and the fact you slang for a living.
Pick up a book and let ya past go cuz it ain't worth it
Wondering how life coulda been, looking thru cell bars.
Another one left in the dust.
He said he wanted all of me
And then wondered why I laughed and said he'd be gone by layer two.
Baby, I'm complex and the words booby trapped?
They were made to describe my heart.
So now I'm here trying to hide how I feel with my friends
Pitying me which I fucking hate.
I shoulda stuck to how I wanted it to be
A mild flirtation on twitter.
3 cases of someone left in the dust but most importantly,
3 cases of a heart that refuses to give a fuck cause it's simpler not to.
Crazy right?

Random thoughts

I don't understand why I can't get this person outta my mind. Like I'd love to never think about him again but it's like I can't & I fucking hate it. I just don't know what I wanna do about this anymore cause there's dudes out here that would like me for who I am but honestly, they ain't who I want.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Cici's back!

Life is crazy.
Let’s see. First off happy belated New Year to everybody. I’ve been MIA b/c the house computer hates me and I live in the boonies so no wifi so I’ve been sadly without my lovely Internet and my blogs. I’ll prolly be back in school by the time I post this so let’s get a quick catch up.
First up, my worst fear (of like 2 years lol) of my cousin and my ex fucking and dating was true. It’s crazy cause like if either one had bothered to tell me, I coulda let go hella faster rather than having to look at two people I love like fuck me over. But now, I really could give two fucks cause there was never a need to lie.
Second, apparently, my bestie and I are marked for like a damn threesome cause whenever I come home, dudes are trying smash us both. Neither of us like to share & I’m still a virgin so that’d be weird as hell lol. But nice tries my dudes!
Third, Skittles and I aren’t talking like that anymore. I’m a complex person that I guess most people can’t deal with and they need simpler and I’m not simple. Like I can try as hard as I want and change for a minute but then I’m gonna go back to doing me cause I can’t live a lie. I mean, lately, it’s been harder than ever to just let go but I have to. No way around it. I think it’s lying up late at night and thinking about convos we had or him coming to surprise me and make me feel better. I’ll miss it but aye, we both need to be happy.
Fourth, the Twitter group I was in? Not anymore! I wanted to leave for like 2 weeks before I stopped repping as hard as I was. I just wasn’t feeling being mean to random people anymore or being called a ho or w/e. I mean, I can be a bitch but only to those who deserve it. That’s just how I am.
I’ll be natural for a year on the 10th! Yay!
As for this new year, I guess it’s time to make some changes. I mean, I can’t deal with basic bitches anymore cause I don’t have patience anymore. Fakeness, bullshit, drama, etc all of it can stay on TV and leave me the hell alone! I’m bout to be 20 fucking years old and I can’t keep dealing with shit like a 16 year old would. So here’s my toast to this year: let there be happiness, great times, awesome people, love, romance and just general ups moreso than downs this year. Let it be as awesome and great as it can be because one way or another, it’s gotta be.
Love and peace,