Cici's back!

Life is crazy.

Let’s see. First off happy belated New Year to everybody. I’ve been MIA b/c the house computer hates me and I live in the boonies so no wifi so I’ve been sadly without my lovely Internet and my blogs. I’ll prolly be back in school by the time I post this so let’s get a quick catch up.

First up, my worst fear (of like 2 years lol) of my cousin and my ex fucking and dating was true. It’s crazy cause like if either one had bothered to tell me, I coulda let go hella faster rather than having to look at two people I love like fuck me over. But now, I really could give two fucks cause there was never a need to lie.

Second, apparently, my bestie and I are marked for like a damn threesome cause whenever I come home, dudes are trying smash us both. Neither of us like to share & I’m still a virgin so that’d be weird as hell lol. But nice tries my dudes!

Third, Skittles and I aren’t talking like that anymore. I’m a complex person that I guess most people can’t deal with and they need simpler and I’m not simple. Like I can try as hard as I want and change for a minute but then I’m gonna go back to doing me cause I can’t live a lie. I mean, lately, it’s been harder than ever to just let go but I have to. No way around it. I think it’s lying up late at night and thinking about convos we had or him coming to surprise me and make me feel better. I’ll miss it but aye, we both need to be happy.

Fourth, the Twitter group I was in? Not anymore! I wanted to leave for like 2 weeks before I stopped repping as hard as I was. I just wasn’t feeling being mean to random people anymore or being called a ho or w/e. I mean, I can be a bitch but only to those who deserve it. That’s just how I am.

I’ll be natural for a year on the 10^th! Yay!

As for this new year, I guess it’s time to make some changes. I mean, I can’t deal with basic bitches anymore cause I don’t have patience anymore. Fakeness, bullshit, drama, etc all of it can stay on TV and leave me the hell alone! I’m bout to be 20 fucking years old and I can’t keep dealing with shit like a 16 year old would. So here’s my toast to this year: let there be happiness, great times, awesome people, love, romance and just general ups moreso than downs this year. Let it be as awesome and great as it can be because one way or another, it’s gotta be.

Love and peace,

Ci

Stuck in the middle....without you

I'm stuck in hell.
Really there's nothing to do here back in the 252 and I'm here til Jan 8th. SOOOO ready to leave. It's like everybody's gay, married, locked up or having kids. It's so freaking annoying. Let's add to the fact that the dude I like, wants "time". What does that mean?! I know I'm not perfect but if you can't handle me at my worst, why should you talk to me at my best? It's so freaking stupid to not talk to me about things that I've done that annoy you and you just chose to freeze me out.
Yes I'm mad.
At least my hair's growing but b/c I'm in the 252, everybody has decided it's nappy and I need to do something about it. Fuck that. I'm just tired of it all really. -_-
Ci

Fashion and Lesi + randomness

Sooo.
I don't do fashion. Like I really have no style sense so if you see me, I'm in jeans and a shirt. Something comfortable. I mean, I've never had time to do anything else sooooo here goes.
2011
I'm trying new things. One of these things will be my fashion choices. No more of all one color & more things that fit my personality so no more plain ish just more stuff that fits me. Like bright things that catch your eye but not OUTRAGEOUS stuff....I'm also working on my anger & communication issues b/c if I don't, I'm going to blow a few people up.
That chick.
She keeps trying me. Like tryna insinuate that I'd want her sloppy seconds? That I'm as grimy as she? Nope. Ima bitch among a few other things but there's no way in hell that I'd do that to someone I'd called my bestie. Fuck that! But aye, I said what I said and I'm moving on.
Love life.
Up in the air. I'm a control freak who doesn't really communicate well and he's a laid back dude who doesn't see my need to freak out over everything. He says don't change but if I don't, I'll be a mess and no body wants a mess! *sigh* I'm trying to do better tho.

Single girl life

There's reasons why I'm single and they usually involve dudes. Here's an example.
"I miss you."
"Really? Come see me."
"Ok."
Never happens. Really sick of shit like this. I mean, I'm not perfect but I wish that one guy wasn't like the rest of em and actually showed an interest in who I was. Things would go so much smoothly. *sigh* over it.

Sick of trying

Short one: I'm sick of trying w/ the whole "romance thing" it's annoying and stupid. Done!

RENT

Things that annoy me

1. Don't ask me to do something for you if you're just gonna talk about it. That's a good way to get ya face knocked in.
2. Don't agree with me that I'm getting pudgy.
3. When pointing out my allergic reactions to chocolate, don't do it.
4. Don't cry more than I do.
5. If I don't text you in three hours, don't text me talking bout  what up love. It irks me.
6. If you can't handle me when I'm in a mean mode, walk away.
more later