So I should be paying attention. But I kind of despise this class sooooo....
First off, my life has been V E R Y hectic. I have a job (seasonal but I'm hoping it'll become long term) and classes have been kicking my ever loving ass and I'm trying this new thing called talking to somebody lol. This shit is crazy! I have had like zero time for basically anything not related to school including writing, doing my hair, or blogging.
I did an open mic and I think I did ok. A lil nervous but I have stage fright. More importantly: I'M EXPERIENCING THE WORST BREAKAGE EVER!!! My hair is just like "Fuck you! I'm breaking the hell off!" Sadly, I think it's my twists. So for now, I'm going to actually flat iron my hair for a while and see what happens b/c I hate detangling and having CLUMPS of hair come out of my head. It makes me cry for myself and poor defenseless BabyLove.
As for the whole relationship thing, Skittles (yes I know how INCREDIBLY homo that sounds) is still here. Seriously ya'll, I am like the WORST person to ever try and get to talk about her feelings and for some reason, I end up telling him. -_- But it's cool b/c he actually manages to calm me down and make me think bout shit.
Lately though, I've just been drained. Like, I don't know how I started thinking about it but everyday it seems like I've been dwelling on the thought of losing those closest to me and I don't really ever want to lose people anymore so I push them away. That's one part of my block and the other comes from a female I used to be cool with actually saying I'm grimy for being cool with a dude she used to talk to. Like I don't talk to you and you don't talk to him but I wouldn't be grimy enough to start fucking with someone you fucked with. I'm mean not grimy. *sigh* females. I let that get in my way to the point that I just almost shut down and walked away from everything. It's a mess but it's life. But I'm back and I know what I need to do to thrive from now on. I just hope everyone understands it!